Liberal Talk Radio

Researchers in the UK have developed a device that repels teenagers. No joke. It emits a high-pitched noise that only affects young ears. Convenience store owners, rejoice!

But last month, Mr. Stapleton gave him a Mosquito for a free trial. The results were almost instantaneous. It was as if someone had used anti-teenager spray around the entrance, the way you might spray your sofas to keep pets off. Where disaffected youths used to congregate, now there is no one.

At first, members of the usual crowd tried to gather as normal, repeatedly going inside the store with their fingers in their ears and “begging me to turn it off,” Mr. Gough said. But he held firm and neatly avoided possible aggressive confrontations: “I told them it was to keep birds away because of the bird flu epidemic.”

Back in my day, the owners of 7-11 and McDonalds franchises had just discovered the power of classical or country music to scare away teens. But this is a laser-guided missile by comparison.